I live 
a life 
of that
I do
not how 
or when 
or why 
or where
that is
where I
am at 

I sit in
the silence having 
at once thought 
that I knew 
and now I 
know I didn’t 
so what to 
do with all 
of these answers 
nothing I guess 
for they’re just 
calls from telemarketers 
of my ego 

The funniest part 
to the joke 
that I am 
is that no
one truly cares 
now nor then
nor ever when 
and only I
am the one 
laughing for only 
I truly do 

There’s just something 
about classical guitar 
it’s almost like 
my heart strings 
which for so
long felt out
of tune have 
found their notes 
again and harmony 
that I’ve long
thought was lost 
sings its lovely 

In hindsight and 
with the kind 
of pain that 
only comes late 
in the night 
I finally admitted 
that the valor 
that I’d embraced 
so many years 
ago that selflessness 
was somehow better
than being selfish 
then I blamed 
others for taking 
advantage of me 
so I set
out to be 
selfish with myself 
at long last 
and generous to 
those I choose 
and not everyone 
and that little 
shift has made 
all the difference