It used to matter 
what ever it was 
but now nothing does 
now not even it
it was you know 
what happened it did
over and over again 
but now it this 
it is not that 
this it is it
the it that happens 
after all of it

And now just as
before when we first 
stood before each other 
unsure of anything really 
we looked didn’t talk 
but now we are laying 
in the after math
and the look is 
less curiosity more innocence 
for we both went 
through the same door 
and now there’s nothing 
whereas before something was

I wonder if 
it’s the break 
that often hurts 
or the idea 
that you’re now 
going to be 
always already broken 
and I wish 
that if they
had already been 
broken themselves that
they had said 
knowing too well 
what it’s like 
but they never 
do it seems 
just break breaking 
and broken again 

I did
I thought 
but I 
don’t anymore 
I wish 
I did
sometimes maybe 
I do 
but generally 
I don’t 
not like 
I ever 
did before 
and this 
then that
and now 
this again 
it’s always 
this again 
until it’s 
not ever 
going to 
be that
this again 

It’s always been 
that first sip
of anything really 
of hot coffee 
or cold water 
of frothy beer 
and a malted 
there’s a surprise 
waiting to tickle 
a giggle coming 
maybe an ahh
whatever it is 
it always reminds 
me of when 
I first sipped 
your sweet lips