One thing leads
and another follows 
one pulls and
the other pushes
both likely away
like needles that
darn or hook
weave and repair 
beauty in hands
creativity giving birth
or people giving 
each other heartbreak 

When we remember 
we frequently forget 
those things that 
chipped away and 
untied those memories 
we only remember 
what we lost 
never what we 
managed to survive 

I think it’s 
now not then
for then I 
wouldn’t have known 
there was this 
and this missing 
is almost worse
than having never 
for in nothing 
there isn’t anything 
not a pick
mark or shovel 
of turned soil 
but in this 
there’s a rut
which I travel 
to and fro 
round and round 
again and always 
coming back here 

I have two 
sitting on desk 
that look like 
cotton balls that
got too close 
to the dye
when coloring eggs
or a mountain 
of cat toys 
absent of tails 
these little trees
look less Christmasy 
and more familiar 
for they remind 
whereas I remember 
a tree is
as tree does