What if
after all 
this time 
what you 
were looking
for isn’t 
there and
that’s been 
the point 
all along 
how now 
brown cow

When exactly were
we taught that
happiness was found 
only in the 
arms of another 
was it when 
our mother coddled 
and poo pooed
away the bad
or was it 
when the first 
girl or guy 
kissed us and 
we felt seen 
but didn’t we
come in alone 
and won’t we
go out similarly 
so why is
the middle expected 
to be different 
oh such treacherous 
little lies told 
and such happiness 
had been delayed 
in the pursuit 
of some myth

I wonder if 
the dust cloud 
I’ve been running 
from and so
desperately trying to 
avoid and dodge 
isn’t one of 
my own making 
and rather than 
trying to catch 
up with me 
is really trying 
to get away
and simply disappear 
sometimes we try
so very hard 
to get away 
from things that 
aren’t really there 

Sitting here 
I noticed 
a book
tucked behind 
not between 
the bookends
getting up 
going over 
I found 
it filled 
with stories 
that so
long ago 
I’d cherished 
and now 
it’s chairside
and my
new favorite 
once again 

This week between 
a drowsy thing 
like a nap
that’s turned into 
a night’s sleep 
where nothing’s done 
that was meant 
just another year 
come and gone