Imagine being told no 
but then it’s yes
Imagine all the questions
why not what happened
Imagine feeling I’m not
imagine feeling all that
Oh my God that
How does one ever
recoil from their ever
Now let’s calm down
it’s not you it’s
never ever you really
remember that it’s them
And there’s the rub
But how and maybe
when right should you
expect to be enough
You are always enough
it’s just that they
can not accommodate you


This quiet morning starts
with the haunting piano
of Satie and with
each note and chord
I can feel the
resonance and harmony in
my heart his music
longs like faraway lovers
whose souls used to
sing but now weep
like tulip petals which
gather at the bottom
of a wilting stem
having once known beauty
like half eaten food
followed by door slams
and the heavy sigh
of love once known
Satie makes me remember
all of the things
I thought I forgot
Important things I’ll add
but then not really


It is possible to 
rebuild one’s life but
starting from scratch is
easier rebuilding is not
the same as repairing
To repair you must
first find what is
broken and either plug
paint or plaster either
replace refund or refinish
but you are constantly
reminded that what is
now isn’t as strong
as it was before
Whereas rebuilding one’s life
requires leaving the hole
which you have dug
before perhaps too close
to the volatility of
water or near volcanoes
prone to explosive eruptions
behind behind with everything
near dear and familiar
including your own past
and start digging anew
The only real way
to rebuild one’s life
is to allow and
require the past to
belong where it rightfully
does and always will
back there behind you


I do remember 
Of course I
remember I remember
fondly but not
longingly time has
severed that connection
like a prisoner
pulling his chain
free from post
sending him somewhere
anywhere else but
there where misery
pain and suffering
occurred once love
had souringly curdled
I have rinsed
my mouth of
you and wiped
my lips clean
but yes I
do remember of
course I remember
I never lost
the taste of
you but I
doubt that I
will enjoy you
ever again ever