I went to the beach
today sitting in the parking
lot my walker couldn’t
traverse the craggy shore
cars stopped started and
parked next to me
sometimes obscuring
my view other times
I saw sunset

Men swirl around
me like debris in a
cyclone too many
to even reach out
and touch they’ll hurt
me if I discover a hand
to hold a foot to tickle
they fly by just thumb
prints of themselves
a fracture of themselves
their best part their best
shot their best torso
they whir past me
like carnival rides
or cotton candy machines
the men spinning into
sugar

I’m different today
than I was two weeks
ago different than I was
before I had surgery
I’m different now that a joint
has been reconstructed
like a castle wall made better
removing bone replacing ceramic
and steel it comes with a
guarantee
I’m different now
composed of external parts
like a machine under warranty
I’m different today
like I’ve been different
each day since I was born
but now a part of me is under
warranty

The day started
with an explosion
of sunlight through
sheer curtains followed
by the calls of fluttering
birds the bed is warm
next to you you still
asleep like an old dog
you’re torso peeking
from beneath the
comforter teasing
me like a dog and
toy
the sunlight now
drips into your
hair
like a
halo

I’ve dreamed
of this many
men chasing
me but few taking|
me down its been
forever since I’ve had
brunettes, shaved and
blond haired boys
chasing me but they’re all
stunning in their
own way like horses
in a paddock their
manes brown trimmed
and blond blow in the
wind as they gallop
so much like these
many men
of which
I’ve dreamed

hang on my fingers
like laundry
they stop short like an
admission of guilt
even metaphors are
bland like heavily milked
coffee words a poet’s tools
are now dull with overuse
unsharppened they hack
at the page haphazardly
like machete wielding guides
in a rainforest
it used to happen like love
but now I’m divorced
from the
pleasure