Some things 
just aren’t 
aren’t meant 
or meant
to be 
or even 
meant to 
be had
or held 
or heard 
but things 
being things 
frequently are 
just that 
just that
very thing 
things meant 
no matter 
no matter 
at all 

I only knock
on any door 
once if there
isn’t an answer 
I will leave 
I do not 
try the back
or the windows 
I don’t wonder 
about anyone inside 
off I go
about my merry 
business content knowing 
that at least 
I had tried 
and that what 
I was attempting 
wasn’t meant for 
me to give 
to them today 
or any day 
for that matter 

Maybe one day 
I will emerge 
from this sleepiness 
ready to love 
but for now 
I find great
comfort in aloneness 
the yakity yak
of drama silent 
the trickery of 
truth and backstory 
of all those 
others and why
they never stuck
of failed expectations 
and of disappointment 
causing my retreat 
and solo hibernation 
maybe one day 
and maybe not 
just a whole 
bunch of maybes 
staving off mayhem 
roll over I
do caring not 
to venture out 
beyond my den

I knew 
didn’t know 
had I
I wouldn’t 
have been 
one of 
those who
rolled downhill 
with you 
stopping this 
endless dizziness 
for now 
I know 
the difference 
between love’s
euphoria and 
the constant 
spinning spiral 
of chaos 
hawked as
true love 

Back to 
square one 
for some 
reason my
little token 
never makes
it around 
the board
never gets 
to home 
just around 
and around 
and around 
the same 
old block 
those same 
old corners 
the same 
old properties 
then bankrupt 
or jail 
or back 
to go
never winning 
never losing 
just playing 
this silly 
senseless tired
old game