Kaleidoscope morning 
city is
out west 
up high 
snow still
beneath black 
above blue 
and between 
there and 
I are
cold orange 
fingers reaching 
upwards as
though trying 
to grasp 
a bit 
of sun
for themselves 

As sun rises 
so do I 
like a dog 
hearing a curiosity 
and upon returning 
I find you 
on my side 
but this time 
rather than pushing 
you away I 
slowly lay atop 
like a fallen 
leaf finding its 
very own daffodil 
upon to rest

I’ve spent 
the past
year building 
a frame 
and now 
it’s time 
to paint 
the picture 

I abandoned 
the sinking 
ship of
the gay
dating apps 
divested myself 
of social 
media groups 
turning down 
the noise 
of conjured 
false realities 
and narratives 
and finally 
settled down 
into myself 
for my
own mystery 
is the 
only book 
worth reading 

I must 
settle now 
into peace 
enter the 
last door 
before death
into a
room full 
of mirrors 
and look
at my
monsters my
cupids my
angels my
demons and 
with a
nod of 
recognition they 
disappear one
by one 
until so
do I