And now that I
have and always knew
to do I rest
in my own comfort
it was arduous this
journey adventure campaign or
whatever other euphemism one
wants to assign to
getting ones shit together
but now and after
having spent years trying
I have finally found
that which ran from
me being me myself
Author: Harlan Didrickson
I first started writing this blog as a way to refocus my thinking after a debilitating mental breakdown in 2008. Having been educated in writing, I had hoped that my love for words would have left a trail for me to follow and, well, here we are.
Herb
I wanted my spice
having for far too
long considered myself bland
easy to chew easier
to digest and low
on almost everything else
but I wasn’t bland
I was an herb
a compliment a tickle
a delicate addition to
almost everything where I
was added a subtlety
and yes even sometimes
an afterthought but coming
after and to the
rescue is the one
thing most people remember
and even more cherish
and keep as secret
FingersAndSuch
Before then when things
were bad I looked
for and reached out
to men as a
form of selfish distraction
I used them in
the name of desire
and affection and love
but it wasn’t love
I wanted their fingers
and only their fingers
to plug the many
holes in my heart
that had been eaten
away by a moth
who had been there
far too long and
way way too comfortable
here’s the funny thing
about wounds that I
know now the more
that you touch them
with fingers and such
the longer they remain
open the better way
to heal a wound
is by leaving it
alone and forget about
it it’ll heal all
by itself in time
just as mine has
Janitor
I have grown tired
of sex being transactional
as though my intimacy
meant as little as
a simple card swipe
buying something as unimportant
and unimpressive and unnecessary
as coffee and bagels
is this what sex
has become now nothing
more than chum or
seed or slop to
attract animals to feed
being less about hunger
and more about time
my body will no
longer be a towel
cleaning up someone else’s
mess after he spilled
himself and walked away
I’m not your janitor
Lips
I don’t kiss strangers
though others often do
my lips speak and
they taste and feel
they whistle and hum
they smile and then
then they also frown
they are the two
fleshiest parts of me
connected to my heart
and my brain and
my loins so no
handsome I won’t kiss
you for now you
are still a stranger
and until all of
my other parts know
you just as well
they’ll say no to
every kiss you ask
