It haunts 
like dreams 
that awaken
pulling me
from sleep 
to start 
when there
you were 
and here
you’re not 
what is
this nightmare 
that happens 
in between 
I wish 
to sleep 
to forget 
this cold 

You will
or won’t 
then I 
might too
but until 
you do 
I can’t 
instead I 
will float 
waiting letting 
you swim 
for decision
keeps me
buoyant whereas 
caution pulls 
you under 

To accept 
the absolute 
is to
walk through 
a doorway 
seldom found 
a doorway 
which leads 
to hallways 
and doorways 
to accept 
the absolute 
is to
understand gray
that gray
is peace
black white 
is chaos

I don’t understand 
this thing love 
for when I 
do they leave 
and when I 
don’t they come 
and on and 
on I go 
this thing up 
and then down 
whatever happened to 
that pleasant middle 
when then meant 
then and stopped 
being then never 

Death surrounds me 
its never mine 
but always others 
I don’t know 
if I can 
let another go
leaving me here 
when its me
that wishes to 
instead of them 
life is cruel 
death is not 
it’s always been 
it never is