I dreamt of
not here but 
a there I’d
once been before 
and that before 
was when I’d
been a someone 
and not this 
somebody who I 
am here and 
people knew me 
and greeted me 
and made me 
feel welcome so 
much different from 
here where no 
one knows me 
and I’m a
nobody in a
place called nowhere 

Peace v drama 
order v chaos
love v sex
standard v strange 
accept v understand 
wait v settle 
patient v impulsive 
it’s the v
it’s always been 
about the v
that maketh me 

Dodged a bullet 
dipped toes in
at first tickling
but then chaos
began to nip
maybe to taste 
and before I 
knew it drama 
leapt for me 
scurrying back I
fell feeling the 
tentacles and tension 
pulling me back 
then I awoke 
in a sweat
that only despair 
really ever knows 

I have found 
It’s just easier 
picking up pieces 
putting them together 
better this time 
but once broken 
forever weak and 
words find their 
way into cracks 
and pry apart 
even my strongest 
sheer will resolve 
leaving me once 
more in pieces 

Once when I 
was a bush
I wished for 
this very thing 
to happen upon 
rather than under 
but now having 
had the roll
I’ve ended alone 
caught on fence
a few feet 
from the horizon