I have this knack
of never cracking under 
stress some call it 
crazy others call it 
control I call it 
confidence for I know 
that no matter what 
I will get out 
and get better and 
then I’ll go back 
to do it all
again until I get 
it right for getting 
anything right is always 
better than trying to 
live with ever having 
gotten it wrong but 
the wrong that I
might have gotten is
me and never you 
that’s called personal responsibility 

I see balloons 
and bubbles some 
up high and 
some down below 
but both things 
filled with air 
both float when 
released from that
which keeps them 
one to soar
the other bounce 
but neither do 
much ever really 
except cause glee
and wonder where

It’s here though 
hard to see
maybe from the 
inside if you 
could see there
a change to 
somewhere by someone 
a knick maybe 
a knack but 
definitely a knock 
by someone else 
looking to get 
in or maybe 
to get out 
always me answering 
and nobody’s there 

I remember all of 
it every last bit 
the nuances and gestures 
these memories of languid
delicate moments of heartbreaking 
fights that ripped feelings 
from chest to mind 
to mouth I remember 
them all and of 
all I remember most 
the weight of the 
wait the pauses and 
the pain of silence 
knowing that what was
said was too much 
whether true or false 
it’s always the silence 
when the scales tip
in favor of one 
or maybe the other 

It is not always 
easy to hold the 
lantern showing others upon
where to step for 
being the first down 
the same path requires 
trust much less trust 
in oneself and much 
more trust in the 
path there’s something to 
be said in trusting 
one’s path that those 
needing to see likely 
will never ever know 
do not discourage them 
or discriminate against them 
for you too were 
once like them and 
you too followed light 
go on your way 
then so that they 
too can go theirs