What I have 
I’ve always wanted 
like other explorers 
the how wasn’t 
funny thing about 
adventures is that 
the destination is 
hardly where you 
thought it’d be 
no matter once
you’ve found it 

This year is 
the year that 
I made peace
like a landfall 
I made shore
after a decade 
adrift in turbulent 
seas tossing about 
the little boat 
that I am 
blistered and deaf
from wuthering winds
I have finally 
found my silence 
and in this 
silence my strength 
and in this 
strength so too
there was peace 

There is a tree
that is outside that’s 
already changing like some 
swimmer on a beach 
so anxious to run
into the pounding surf
that it is beginning 
to strip its leaves 
right in the open 
and dive into fall 

I have never 
really been ever
whatever it was
that people wanted 
me to be 
and now it
seems that I 
have taken on
a new patina 
one of which 
is frequently called 
I don’t care 

It’s interesting how 
I know now
that when anxious 
and wholly uncertain 
I reach unaware 
of my clutch 
and that I 
like male apes
beat my breast 
making me bigger 
than I am 
simply to attract 
it’s never been 
I’m finding now 
about ones promise 
of what might 
but only about 
what one will