It’s been what 
now eight years 
since the ignition 
that one single 
silly solitary moment 
when the world 
mine at least 
just simply disappeared 
no bang no 
explosion no gnashing 
of teeth just 
quiet as though 
God Himself covered 
my ears saying 
no boy you 
don’t need to 
hear this end
and off I 
went looking looking
so much looking 
for what remained 
and what I 
found hadn’t been 
what I lost
oh no it
wasn’t even that 
what I found 
was the me
that never was

Orange is
right now 
over there 
catching on
the fingers 
of downtown 
rising up 
like anxious 
know-it-all students 
begging chance 
and the 
windows dance 
orange too
like giddy
newly betrothed 
ladies showing 
off and 
showing us 
their rings 

I have slowed
to a crawl 
like I was
when a baby
before others cheered
and chanted up 
up he’s walking 
and that then
ignited everything else 
including my wanderlust 
my obsessive desire 
to see to
go to find 
until that is
when I did
with heavy pockets 
I wandered back 
losing most of 
what I’d gained 
and now once 
again somewhere new
and somewhat better 
and somehow old 

Piano drifts from 
some far off
place like snow 
and gathers here
in my heart
collects and crawls 
high and higher 
still until finally 
and then tumbles 
down like leaves 
or little soldiers 
laying their siege 
only to end 
where they started 
at the beginning 
with a hope 
this music does
then remind me 
and return me 
always there too

I’m no longer 
chasing numbers or
men but rather 
sitting on the 
edge of dock
pants rolled up 
to my knees
feet in water 
watching as fish 
wonder and wander 
about curious as
to what these
strange things are