I have swallowed 
the bile we
became ten years 
ago I have 
choked on it 
threw it up 
and cleaned it 
up rinsed it 
out and washed 
it away watching 
it go down 
the drain and 
toilet just like 
the years did 
I guess sometimes 
love turns sour 
and all that 
you have had 
must come out 
one way or 
another before you 
can be well 
to love again 

I dreamt of 
my ex husband 
last night I 
knew I would 
I thought about 
him too late 
and it’s said
that the last 
thing you think 
about you dream
and it’s funny 
it should be 
the last joy
you have felt 
the last kiss 
you have had 
the last love 
you have treasured
funny things dreams 
the truth is 
all my nights 
should now only 
belong to you 
only to you 
because you’re my
last of every
day of everything 

I can’t explain 
it I’ve tried 
and as many 
times I’ve tried 
I have failed 
so I’ve decided 
to accept it 
treasure it and 
keep it this 
way for there
is no other 
way that this 
could be than 
just like this 

The hardest thing 
that I’ve ever 
done and continue 
to do daily 
is to stand
in the middle 
of the torrent 
and scream loudly 
you have not
beaten me yet 
until you do 
call it crazy
or just inspired 
I will continue 
to do so 
until one of 
us ceases to 
be no more 

And with a word
or a glance sometimes 
as little as smile
it starts over again 
the engine starts turning 
the wheels start rolling 
and off we go 
over hill and valley 
stopping to see things 
as of yet unseen 
until we finally stop
and just watch sunset 
quietly together in silence 
maybe share a beer
maybe even a puff
and when night falls 
oh so do we 
comfortably beside each other