When did cautious become 
a thing when did 
disbelief and suspicion become 
the emotions du jour 
served cold with a 
side of chilled apathy 
when did we start 
losing our foot holds
on the side of 
maybe better mountain as
we en mass scratched 
and clawed to the 
top only to discover 
that we are indeed 
just Sisyphus tasked with 
an unyielding unwieldy foe
an eternity or what 
seems like one of 
pushing up something or 
someone never meant to 
be there with us 
why do we feel 
compelled to take anyone 
along with us when 
life itself is hard 
enough if I had 
known back then that 
the people and relationships 
that I gathered and
kept in pockets and 
bundles and bags throughout 
my life would be 
my very own boulder 
to push uphill for 
eternity I would have 
remained as naked as 
the day I was 
born with no pockets 
ever needing to fill 

Have I become sour
or has the world 
itself curdled turned into 
some gloppy chunky mess
having once been trustworthy 
and now cautiously suspicious 
do I listen to 
others intently and curiously 
or do I listen 
like a weary prosecutor 
waiting for the lie
do I talk myself 
out of others anticipating 
becoming collateral damage in
the folly of their 
lives I do remember 
being years ago defiant 
but lately I crouch 
down covering my ears 
waiting for the explosion 
which is surely coming