Loving Men-Love

aaWe don’t always know what we’ll find.

I fled to Paris and then to Charlotte because I didn’t know what else to do. I was manic and unmedicated and reeling from the expedited divorce from my husband of 32 years.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time trying to make sense of what happened, like an investigator picking through scraps of a crime scene.  But since my ex-spouse refuses to speak to me, it’s impossible for me to interrogate him, thus leaving me with a gaping hole where reason is usually found.

When I came to Charlotte, I found a gay community that was practically impossible to infiltrate. There were men that said, emphatically, that they yearned for a lover or relationship, but when presented with one, ran for the brambles! Man after man after man.

And when I did snare one, the relationship only lasted three or four weeks.

But not with Rodrigo.

Rodrigo and I bumped into each other on the internet. Neither of us were looking for anything except friendship, and so friendship is what we pursued. And friendship is what we’ve discovered. And it’s also become the foundation of our relationship.

Yes, we’ve become more than friends, but it’s in our friendship where we find our love.

I’m Yours

When do we hand ourselves over to another?

His thigh
is strong
beneath
his jeans.
Warm, it
moves,
an eel
in a cave
of denim.
Hands reach
for eels, holding
them, squeezing
them, capturing.

Hands atopayours
eels, you quietly
whispered
I’m yours
I’m yours
he whispered.

When do two
lovers meld
into one lover?
When do we
moan, “I’m yours”?
When do we
adopt ours
abandoning
I me mine his
and his?

I’m yours
he whispered
to me, me
with my eyes
holding
his eyes, our
hands holding
our hands.

I’m yours
he whispered
meaning
we’re ours.

 

Loving Men-Lips

lipsI found
his lips
cushiony
and damp and
right under
his nose
I found
his lips
on my lips
sideways
moist and
slippery
our lips
open one
by one
I found
his lips
on mine
for minutes
for hours
opening
for tongues
and twirlers.

Loving Men-Lust

lustIt percolates
in my mind
knock-knocks
of past passions
it broils
like a steak
sizzling
and when cooked
is warm and pink
and juicy like lemons
tart and pungent
it swells overflowing
the levee of good
decision
breaking the dyke
it overflows
to my stomach or
lower, somewhere

lower

overpowering.

 

Loving Men-Rodrigo (Concave/vex)

A man’s body is simply concave/vex.

gaykiss1When I watch Rodrigo slip out of his undershirt nightly, I see a pair of wide shoulders become bare. These shoulders are capped by a beanie of muscle. Muscle he uses daily to lift, to haul, or, nightly to push and pull.

They are convex.

When I watch Rodrigo watching me, I see his eyes. Magnificently brown and almond-shaped.

They are convex.

At night, under the sheet from our bed I feel his buttocks. Flexing and relaxing they are simply muscle.

They are concave.

In the twilight and glistening with goose-flesh, I see Rodrigo’s face. His lips: a pair of smiles. His hollowed and haloed cheeks.

They are concave.

Men’s bodies are elegant and simple geometrical shapes.