Maybe one day 
I will emerge 
from this sleepiness 
ready to love 
but for now 
I find great
comfort in aloneness 
the yakity yak
of drama silent 
the trickery of 
truth and backstory 
of all those 
others and why
they never stuck
of failed expectations 
and of disappointment 
causing my retreat 
and solo hibernation 
maybe one day 
and maybe not 
just a whole 
bunch of maybes 
staving off mayhem 
roll over I
do caring not 
to venture out 
beyond my den

I knew 
didn’t know 
had I
I wouldn’t 
have been 
one of 
those who
rolled downhill 
with you 
stopping this 
endless dizziness 
for now 
I know 
the difference 
between love’s
euphoria and 
the constant 
spinning spiral 
of chaos 
hawked as
true love 

Back to 
square one 
for some 
reason my
little token 
never makes
it around 
the board
never gets 
to home 
just around 
and around 
and around 
the same 
old block 
those same 
old corners 
the same 
old properties 
then bankrupt 
or jail 
or back 
to go
never winning 
never losing 
just playing 
this silly 
senseless tired
old game 

Childhood games 
adults play 
hopscotch leaping 
about person 
to person
just numbers 
hide-n-seek being 
there one 
time gone 
another waiting 
somewhere to
be found 
and tug-o-war
the combat
of words
to seduce 
devour and 
then discard
woe be
he who 
ever thinks 
that I’m
a playground 
and he 
a player

If there is 
to be a
next guy I
will be his
for I am 
who he was 
looking for as
there is no 
one else for 
me but me