It’s this 
just this
not that
just this
I’m sure 
not that
it’s never 
will ever 
be that 
for that
is there
and this 
is here
just where
it’s been 
and always 
will be 

It’s always been 
the cello me
the deep haunting 
those low painful 
throaty yowls howling 
the swells that 
disappear beyond ear
and the weeping 
that is silent 
yet longs embrace 
the cello me
seeks its sunlight 
but bathes darkness 

Having nowhere 
already been 
my course
is that 
of leaf
never knowing
and never 
needing to 
I will 
just be 
what I 
am where
I must
and when 
I will

I’m not missing 
nor are things 
for I have 
and as for 
what I haven’t 
I don’t need 
this is how 
the little boat
that I am 
kindly stays afloat 
I’m not burdened 
by my past 
that’s back there 
on the shore 
from where I 
last set sail 

Finding myself 
figuring out 
my priorities 
getting my
shit together 
letting things
go letting 
things be 
gracefully patient 
taking time
to see
feel hear
and say
accepting loss
but not 
counting it
and living 
the rest
like that