Unbearable Cruelty

12/02/2012 ~ Harlan Didrickson ~ 1 Comment

2men We were walking a block-and-a-half home tonight after watching a recently released movie. About thirty minutes from the end of the movie I closed my eyes and withdrew the custom-fit Etymotic ear plugs I wear around my neck every day, and tried, really tried to isolate myself from the movie. I knew that it was already too late to stave off the consequence of watching a film which included the graphic horror that the characters (humans) performed on one another. I’d swum well past the breakwater and already found myself caught in a riptide of emotion that I prayed I could withhold until after we said goodnight.

And then it happened: starting from deep in my core, an ache, dull, almost quiet; but it sank, then caught fire and spread throughout my torso, finally exiting by way of heaving sobs and weeping. I wretched as though vomiting; it had to come out like bad liquor; all at once I wailed, it was impossible to breathe; my partner grabbed ahold and hugged me; and I asked the same question I always ask when this happens: Why are people so cruel to each other?

Whatever degree of resistance we’re born with or develop as a means of survival, when it comes to cruelty I find it absolutely unbearable and I must, in order to keep my wits, distance myself as quickly as possible, or shut my eyes which is partially effectual by eliminating the video portion. An apparent afteraffect of my mental breakdown in 2008, one of my widely known characteristics disappeared. This capacity was a basic tenet of survival in my career: an unusual and boundless tolerance of unwarranted and often gratuitous domination, insensitivity, and publicly verbal assaults by senior executives. Post-breakdown I was no longer immune from feeling, really, really feeling the appalling and sorrowful inhumanity most humanity ignores, approves, pities, politely acknowledges while respecting civil decorum, or determined is very profitable as entertainment and implants it in scene after scene of recent motion pictures, or spends millions of dollars to create brutal, vulgar, savage, and murderous atrocities then market to our children as toys, or a sympathetic and comfortable populace helplessly citing the excuse approved by concerned yet tolerant bourgeoisie and the proletarians alike, “I mean really, what can I do? I’m just one guy?”

TRY EMPATHY AND INTOLERANCE AND ACTION against any expression of cruelty by a human being!

And if that doesn’t inspire you to get involved, how about when you witness any expression of cruelty by a human being?

But if neither works for you, place yourself in an environment where one human being (them) has dominion over another human being (you), and experience how it feels to take both barrels of cruelty. And not just once. Any time. Any where. And fighting back gets you fired, sued, incarcerated, or killed.

We’ve got groups throwing blood on fur donning women; hordes marching on behalf of the inhumane treatment of animals for experiments; prohibition of foie gras in Chicago due to the mistreatment of the goose.

Really? I mean, really?

Our cruelty to each other must take precedent: It’s intolerable, inhumane, unjust, and in no uncertain terms has it ever been, or will it ever be fodder for entertainment or a toy for a child.

Cruelty has become ‘normal’ in health care, says Hunt (thetimes.co.uk)
Teaching About Social Meanness In Middle School (psychologytoday.com)
The roots of violence (and mental illness too) (beyondmeds.com)

I Need Your Help

11/25/2012 ~ Harlan Didrickson ~ 2 Comments

November 25, 2012

Dear Reader:

After posting my last piece about Jesse Jackson, Jr. I had a really bad case of Bloggers regret. Not for what I said, not for how I said it. I regretted posting it here, on this blog because I don’t think Blog Readers visiting my blog expect to see a political opinion piece, much less one with vitriolic language condemning our former congressional representative’s relinquishing of his seat.

So I’m asking your help. Would you please look at the poll and answer its question? Your anonymous answer will assist me a great deal and provide you with post-content you expect to see on Becoming not Became.

Thank you in advance.

T.M. Mulligan

(Ex-Representative) Jesse Jackson, Jr.: Denouement

11/24/201211/24/2012 ~ Harlan Didrickson ~ 4 Comments

Hoodwinked? A definite possibility. Bamboozled? Most likely. Hornswoggled? Should be considered.

Whatever you want to call it, Mr. Jackson Jr. disappeared six months ago; five months ago Mrs. Jackson Jr. read a prepared statement which delicately described Mr. Jackson Jr.’s sudden absence without divulging the root cause. Mrs. Jackson’s calculated disclosure purposefully neglected any explanation of Mr. Jackson’s bizarre journey from Washington, D.C. to an addiction retreat in Arizona and finally his willful confinement at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. Someone with considerable influence strongly urged Mr. Jackson to depart Washington, D.C. without a peep and bee-line himself to the addiction retreat in Arizona. Certain accounts told of Mr. Jackson reaching out to Reverend Jackson who, it was said, immediately went to aid his son. Upon arrival Rev. Jackson described Mr. Jackson’s condition as serious: weight-loss, insomnia, restlessness, hopelessness, fatigue, and a general feeling of depression.

When I presented very similar symptoms at the pinnacle of my ascension to mania, I was strongly advised to immediately be evaluated by a psychiatrist in order to determine if I was clinically depressed. Were my self-medicating behaviors indicative of a substance addiction? Certainly, especially if that’s what you’re looking for. But a member of Congress with the best health insurance in the country? Did he seek an evaluation from a psychiatrist in Washington? Is it likely that a psychiatrist prescribed an addiction treatment facility in Arizona while ignoring Walter Reed Army Medical Center or the Psychiatric Institute of Washington? Doubtful. Are we to believe that no one in Mr. Jackson’s inner circle was curious as to what other illnesses might Mr. Jackson be suffering when presenting his specific symptoms?

I must admit that a fair percent of public comments insinuate that timing for political gains has been, from the very start, the predominant focus. His alcohol addiction (reason for in-patient treatment at an Arizona Rehab Center), bipolar diagnosis (reason for his transfer to the Mayo Clinic), and clandestine exodus from Washington (to protect his privacy while en route) is, to his discredit, a shrewd, calculated, and well-executed chain-of-events whose purpose, Mr. Jackson’s representatives said, was to seek the best treatment centers for his addiction and subsequent bipolar diagnosis. One month passed before Mr. Jackson’s representatives confirmed he was at a HIPAA protected treatment facility. Then he was transferred to the HIPAA protected Mayo Clinic. Then he ran for re-election without a campaign: no appearances, no advertising, no lawn signs. And he won 64% of the vote! Finally, six months after his twilight departure from Washington, the requested and ultimately expected communiqué was delivered to House Speaker Mr. Boehner in a two-page letter of resignation citing health issues and a federal investigation.

And that’s it.

But. . .if he has an addiction and suffers from bipolar disorder, then his timing couldn’t be worse for his career and the reputation of his family. But then again. . .if it was all a ruse to buy time and strategize his reaction to the upcoming federal indictments, then his actions were dishonest, cowardly, and ignorantly insensitive and offensive to those of us who struggle with mental illness on a daily basis. But what if. . .he is an addict and bipolar and anticipating federal indictments? It’s difficult, even for me who defended him on this very blog, to be sympathetic. After all, he’s a crooked politician who stole tens of thousands of tax-payers money for personal gain, who then fled under the guise of addiction and mental illness to protected locations for six months, abandoning his job, his constituents, and those who voted for him, in order to clean his own house and strategize his legal response and perhaps a plea bargain. Oh, and he’s an addict and suffers from bipolar disorder.

Well Mr. Jackson, I suffer from bipolar disorder and face that fact every single day head on. . .I don’t hide behind it. . .and I certainly don’t break the law and then use my mental illness to garner sympathy.

Truth is Mr. Jackson, you’re a coward, a liar, and a thief. The Illinois politician’s trifecta!

From Mayo Clinic for a Bipolar Disorder to Negotiating Plea Deals (urbanmommies.net)
US Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. Leaves Mayo Clinic (hispanicbusiness.com)

On Compassion

11/22/201204/02/2020 ~ Harlan Didrickson ~ 2 Comments

Compassion is not yours to keep but to give away again and again and again.
If you keep compassion to yourself like a precious object, your compassion will rot, turn bitter, inducing guilt followed by resentment expressed by anger.
Everyone should pray that they die with pockets empty of compassion for then they’ll know eternity:
for compassion is but a seed you sow, and the greatest part of yourself now lives with many others.