Comeuppance

Sometimes I long 
and other times 
I miss while 
others I desire
but really most
I don’t deserve 
having for far 
too long sat
at the table 
not only satisfying 
but gorging like 
a starving animal 
on winters dead
and now this 
this my penance
my exile from 
this land now 
turned into spring 
I remain huddled 
close closer still 
to my sins