The most palatable way to describe what happened was breakdown: here one moment and gone the next; as though the circuit-breaker had flipped and all power shut down. However, there wasn’t darkness; there was light, but a different kind of light; a brightness of light, unfiltered light, new light. There was pain and heaviness and listlessness; a wet woolen blanket anchoring me, keeping me sullen and stuck.
I don’t recall much of my past though it sits in the back of my mind much like past novels I have read; I recall the characters and the story but its significance has lost its weight; images too, are there, pasted into photo albums and which draw certain emotions, but no longer carry consequence. Tomorrow and all future tomorrow’s sit in a low ground fog obscuring my footing and therefore I await for tomorrow to come into today before I take my first steps.
Therefore I have today, simply. I have these twenty-four hours. I am free to interact and experience this day fully, without the encumbrance of yesterday or the anticipation of tomorrow. Today stands alone, like an oak or black chestnut tree in its glory: everything is new to me. Even time slows as I have no activity which reaches backward or pulls forward. Today is my focus and my luxury.