It’s been a very long time since I’ve been on dates.
I’m not even sure if I remember how to behave on a date. I’ve always been a believer of the Tuesday Rule. What’s the Tuesday Rule? Well, it goes something like this: Let’s say you ask someone out on a date on Friday evening. Let’s say it goes very well. And you decide to ask him out on Saturday night as well. Here’s where the Tuesday Rule comes into play.
1. Never kiss for at least four days (Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday);
2. Never sleep naked for at least ten days;
3. Never allow your date to select your meal for you at a restaurant for at least three weeks;
4. Never say “I’m in love with you” until the following things occur, and in this order:
a. You forget what they look like;
b. You forget the cell number;
c. You don’t recognize theirs;
d. You can’t understand why it takes them so long to text/call you back;
e. You clear your entire social calendar just in case he wants to pop over;
f. You still draw on your blotter at work what your first name looks like alongside his last name;
g. All you can think about is him:
1. His eyes;
2. His smile;
3. His beard against your throat;
4. His kisses upon your clavicle:
5. The muskiness of his aroma on your clothes after he leaves for work.
I can guarantee that if you utilize the Tuesday Rule you can pace your attraction and your infatuation, carrying it from a fast burn to a long campfire which burns for ten times as long.
I have used the Tuesday Rule time and again. When we stretch attraction like salt-water taffy, we do deny ourselves certain yearnings, but these yearnings turn to hunger or thirst, they drop us to our knees prostrate, they make us desirable in the eyes of our amours.
And isn’t that what we’re all really after, anyway? To be desired way beyond the physical and into the spiritual?
Ah, I love love.