Loving Men-Mark

Sometimes you can meet people on the internet. And sometimes those people can impact you in ways you never expected.

I was introduced to Mark on Grindr.



“You looking?”

“Might be, depends.”

“On what?”

“On what I find.”

“You found me.”

“No, you found me.”

“Oh, not your type?”

“What type are you?”

“21, 6’4″, 240 pounds.”

“Big boy, aren’t you?”


“I don’t usually date guys over 6’1″.”


“Because I’m 6’1″.”

“Oh. So, no?”

“No. Not necessarily. You’re young in comparison.”

“In comparison to what?”

“To me, We’re a lifetime apart.”

“That’s what I want.”

“What’s that?”

“Your lifetime. Your wisdom. I can’t wait to get where you are.”

“Don’t wish your life away.”

“I’m not wishing it away. I’m giving it away.”

“You shouldn’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because my life is my life. Your life is yours. They’re not the same.”

“I’m afraid.”

“Of what? Your life? Are you kidding?”

“Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m sorry. I was afraid of my life when I was 21.”


“Are you kidding? Everyone your age is afraid of life.”

“Are you?”

“Not any more. There’s not much more that can hurt me now.”

“How come?”

“Because everything I thought would hurt me has hurt me. Those skeletons and stories and lovers are behind me. I’m an amalgamation of my life.”

“Can’t you just give me some?”

“Listen baby, they won’t fit; they’re the wrong size.”